Sometimes when parents separate one home has choors and expectations, while the other home may not. This can prove difficult for the parent who is trying to enforce the rules. What child wouldn't want to be in a home where nothing is expected of them, no work or discipline, and they are completely cherished from the time they step foot in the house? Can't blame them for wanting it! I'd love it, too!!
The simplest approach is to talk with your child directly to emphasize the fact that he or she has 2 homes now with 2 separate sets of rules. You have no say over what happens the other parent's home, but you have every say on what happens within your home. Let your child know that because you do require certain things of him or her, it's not because they are a work horse or a slave, but because that's what we do in families, that is what we do to get along with one another, and that is what we do to become responsible adults. And be very careful to leave the other parent completely out of this conversation. They have no room to judge or criticize YOUR home, so set the example, and don't mention any of that to your child either.
Your child may not understand that bigger picture yet. That's okay! Hold it for them and someday, when they have a real home of their own, they will appreciate your rules!
For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/