ARGUING IN THE PRESENCE OF CHILDREN

You and the other parent must make every effort to eliminate all types of negative actions towards one another in the presence of your child. This type of behavior can cause your child psychological harm that may be irreversible. This includes all arguments, phone arguments, nasty remarks, poking fun at one another, etc.

There have been many studies that have proven that the act of arguing in front of children causes significant emotional harm. It is understood that you and the other parent probably have your share of differences, but do not let those differences get the best of you and your child.

Partaking in verbal conflict in front of your child may cause him or her to have feelings of frustration, aggression, anxiety, depression, isolation, lack of self-esteem, just to name a few. You must keep in mind that a child has feelings towards both parents, and to see parents showing anger towards one another makes them extremely uncomfortable. At times they feel insecure. They are not sure what is right or wrong. Children can also assume that they are expected to pick a side, which creates separation. The golden rule to remember, "children should never be put in a position to take sides".
If the conflict between you and the other parent is or becomes very consistent, your child may show signs of tension and nervousness when you and the other parent are around each other. Since the verbal conflict is routine and it is all he or she may see and hear between the two of you, it is very easy for your child to perceive that he or she is the root or cause of the arguments.


For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/ --

COMPETITION WITH THE OTHER PARENT

A mistake parents may make when they separate from the family home is to try to compete with the other parent by showering the children with gifts. Sometimes parents do this out of guilt but you have to remember that your children do not need new things from you every time they see you; they do however, need your love. This is not a competition for the love of your children. They should love you unconditionally already and competing for their attention by buying them things or letting them stay up later or any other things that are done because you are trying to get them to favor you over your ex, is wrong. This will ultimately back fire on both of you. The children will pick this up very quickly and it will only make it confusing for the children as to how they are supposed to behave and what they are to expect. Your goal should be to keep the same rules for each house; that gives them the stability they need. If you are giving the children anything they ask for, the children will come to expect it. If they expect this behavior from you then setting limitations on them later becomes a big problem.         

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/ --

DECIDING ON DIVORCE

Deciding on divorce is a big decision. You should understand that you aren't a bad person just because you think you want a divorce. Your spouse is not automatically a bad person because he/she may be causing you to feel this way (or so you may think), you're just people, plain and simple. 
The Mindset You Need To Make This Difficult Decision
You're reading this for a reason...because you have been thinking about divorce for one reason or another. Being in "limbo" is a horrible feeling because you can't really get rooted if you are in limbo...all you know is that you aren't happy and don't know what to do.

You may feel stuck in a rut or feel like you are wandering aimlessly. Whatever the case, not being certain of what will happen can be tough to swallow and only contributes to your being unhappy. Another reason that this is usually a tumultuous and arduous time for people who are in this stage of life because it usually involves self reflection and a heightened awareness that may never have been reached before in your life.

This can be most difficult and scary, but I assure you it is healthy in the long run. When doing this "inward reflection", you may find out some things about yourself that you may not like. You may recall some things you had forgotten. You may realize that this isn't all your fault or you may realize that you had a hand in leading yourself here too. Whatever happens from here on in, your mindset has to be conducive to being brutally honest to yourself.

Since this can be a gut-wrenching time in your life, you absolutely must realize that one serious danger you face is making the mistake of not being fully aware that people don't make clear decisions during heightened emotional times. You must remember that emotion clouds judgment and bad decisions are made when the wrong side of your brain produces something by using emotion rather than intellect.

This cannot be stressed enough...when making any decision or thinking deeply about a concept, make certain that you are logical and impartial to the best of your ability. You must be comfortable with finding flaws within yourself and realizing that those are flaws that you agree with. You must be ready to admit self guilt and self fault, or this won't work.

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/ --

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/--

Support

Obligations Reduced for Alcoholic Father wp.me/pI0uM-6J via @wordpressdotcom; well reasoned. One Judge who get's the diseaseRT

— Renee Marcelle (@divorcedish) February 26, 2012

Contemplating Divorce in California and Wish to Increase Odds of your Divorce matters being out of Public View?

How to avoid public court files which reveal personal information to the media or anyone interested enough to view your court file.

Often celebrity, public figure, and exceedingly wealthy clients as well as those who wish to remain private or keep their court file out of the hands of their future grown children, may agree with their opposing party to choose one of the following dispute resolution vehicles.

Private Judging: This dispute resolution remedy can effectively resolve disputes, in most cases more expeditiously and often more economically than the typical adversarial process. Additionally private judges may have qualitatively better family law experience than the judicial officers at court.

This process may include settlement conferences, case-management conferences, hearings on 1 or more issues, and trial. A private judge is endowed with the authority of the court and matters may be appealed similar to typical court decisions in the case of judicial error or abuse of discretion. Alternatively the parties could choose a more informal process from their private judge to streamline resolution of the issues.

While although technically this option is subject to possible attendance by the media in rare instances and typically only in the case of celebrity, will that happen. In the current economic climate private judging makes sense given that in most cases parties must provide for their own court reporters due to court budget cutbacks. What is more important the costs for employing a private judge can often be saved by avoiding delays alone; for example, repeated returns to court requiring counsel to review and prepare the issues multiple times to stay sharp with the facts and applicable law can be prohibitively expensive.

Mediation:


In most cases mediation is a faster process then the adversarial process. Dissolution issues may be resolved in as little as 1-2 sessions and up to 10 or more depending on the complexity of the case. Mediation in California is absolutely confidential. Nothing said durring mediation may be introduced into any court hearing, declaration or trial. Divorce judgements may be drafted in ways which do not reveal personal or private matters. For example the parties could agree that assets and debts not be listed in a Marital Settlement Agreement yet the executory provisions which need an enforcement mechanism be listed therein.

Mediation works best when the parties are transparent regarding all material information and facts concerning any asset or debt. Mediation is an optimal resolution dispute remedy only when there exists a level playing field as between parties. Most mediators will require each party to have a consulting attorney to explain the law and how it applies. Parties may choose to not apply the law in their circumstances or only partially. You may chose to bring your attorneys to mediation, but in either event parties and consel will be asked to approve the agreement in writing.

Collaborative Law:

A confidential and transparent process which takes place privately by legal professionals who leave the armor home. While still your advocate, they are highly trained in a process based dispute resolution system which weighs heavily on the parties, counsel and oftentimes financial or child custody professionals working together to develop an agreement taking into account and to the extent possible each party’s needs, interests and concerns. This process also may also include a mental health professionals called divorce coachs to enhance the climate and move parties and or their counsel to conclusion in a reasonably harmonious way. Like mediation, settlements can be drafted in ways which do not reveal personal or private matters.

By Renee M. Marcelle





For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/--

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For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/--

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For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/--