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Friday, May 22, 2015

UNCOUPLING? DIVORCE? UNSURE?


Why not get a professional consultation, particularly when you believe you don’t need it; you know you are plenty smart; your friend is a lawyer; or divorce is too darn expensive?

 
Fear and procrastination are huge inhibitors to getting the information you need. Don’t wait until it looks like the handwriting is on the wall. Be pro-active even if you are not the spouse who desires to leave.

 
You should get a consult even if you get a tiny inkling that divorce is where it is going.  Many times your partner will confiscate all of the bank accounts, leave you without access, cut up the credit cards, take the children, take the furniture, and change the locks. You will want to withdraw enough money for your attorney’s fees and necessities of life, without drawing a concern from the court.

 
Some believe that they cannot possibly consult with a professional because their spouse will find out, and will go through the roof. Some folks are simply in denial. Others believe they are too clever to have to get a lawyer; they can just go on line, or get a Nolo book on Divorce. Think of all of the money they can save! Not so!

 
Nine times out of ten, people go into denial or stick their head in the sand. Then during this time, he or she, may create a violent situation which can be blamed upon the other, the police are called, and then you may be facing a fairytale about a “long” history of abuse and find yourself in jail because you “are the primary aggressor” or you were under the influence of alcohol. Under rare circumstances the allegations can also be, you bathed or sleep with the baby inappropriately, with intent to sexualize the child.

 
Your spouse may claim that you are an alcoholic and that the 12 year old is fed up with you. The twelve year old goes along with the plan because he never gets time with the other parent because of…really he or she has been part of an extremely dysfunctional family and the child is unable to see the other parent.  The child becomes very aligned with the absent parent and then it becomes those two against you. Custody can be changed under those instances.

 
A good lawyer will tell you about the 3.5 process options available around your jurisdiction so that you can have an insider’s view.

 
A chief purpose in seeing an attorney is to:

a.)Process information

                                              i.    Litigation/adversarial/collaboration

                                             ii.    Mediation

                                           iii.    Collaborative practice.

                                            iv.    What can you expect?

                                             v.    Mistakes

        b.) Cost

Depends on the process selected

The dynamics of the parties

Revenge factor

 
If you are considering a divorce or uncoupling consider going to a family law lawyer before you decide to make a move or tell your partner.

 
Get a one half hour free consultation so that you may get some of your major concerns alleviated.

 
Most people walk out after a consultation feeling relieved, and have the ability to quit thinking and know they are actually safe or going to be all right. They can be re-assured that they are not going to lose the children.

Collaborative lawyers will explain process options of 3 approaches (processes).

 
They can assist you in making decisions taking into considering the entire family, including children.

 
They can give good advice about how to look good and behave while in the court room, with respect to social media. Negotiating with a soon to be ex-spouse can be quite difficult or challenging if you choose the wrong process option.

 
Avoid attorneys who talk excessively or tell antidotal stories about their own lives or another divorce case. Seek out a good interactive listener. Time per hour is ramped up with no way to curtail it.

 
Do independent research of attorneys on attorneys in your county.  Avoid the ones with (a) a ton of yelp reviews, all 5 stars, and (b) offers services well below the standard price. That is typically a younger attorney with lots of social media friends, who got a Yelp review in return.

 
Get a free consultation; look around to see who meets you comfort level.

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/ --

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

WHEN DIVORCE IS A FAMILY AFFAIR

Today, obtaining a divorce couldn’t get much easier. America’s no-fault divorce laws allow spouses to unilaterally walk out on their families for any reason. And many do just that. Spouses who want to keep their families intact, however, have no alternatives. Thus, the outcome of every divorce filing is preordained: the family will split up.
To continue viewing this article by Beverly Willett please click: 
http://www.nytimes.com/roomfordebate/2013/02/13/when-divorce-is-a-family-affair

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/ --

AFTER PARENT'S DIVORCE DO KIDS NEED THERAPY?

Question: What are some of the signs that a child needs therapy?
I separated from my husband two years ago and am now divorced. The children understand the logistics of it and why it was so necessary, but my parents keep telling me that they need therapy. I don’t think the kids need it, but I’m juggling so many balls at this moment that I may not be able to see the truth for myself.

To continue viewing this article written by Marguerite Kelly please click the link provided:  http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/on-parenting/2014/02/25/b5c5bde8-98e7-11e3-b88d-f36c07223d88_story.html

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/

HEALTHY DIVORCE - HOW TO MAKE YOUR SPLIT AS SMOOTH AS POSSIBLE

The end of a marriage typically unleashes a flood of emotions including anger, grief, anxiety and fear. Sometimes these feelings can rise up when you least expect them, catching you off guard. Such a response is normal, and over time the intensity of these feelings will subside. In the meantime, be kind to yourself. Researchers have found that people who are kind and compassionate to themselves have an easier time managing the day-to-day difficulties of divorce.

To continue viewing this article by the American Psychological Association please click: http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/healthy-divorce.aspx

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

TIPS AND TECHNIQUES FOR GETTING ANGER UNDER CONTROL

Going through a divorce is one of the most difficult situations you will encounter in your lifetime.  At time it can be tough to control our emotions.

Do you have a short fuse or find yourself getting into frequent arguments and fights? Anger is a normal, healthy emotion, but when chronic, explosive anger spirals out of control, it can have serious consequences for your relationships, your health, and your state of mind. With insight about the real reasons for your anger and these anger management tools, you can learn to keep your temper from hijacking your life.

To continue viewing this article by Jeanne Segal, Ph.D. and Melinda Smith, MA, please click:
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/anger_management_control_tips_techniques.htm

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/

CO-PARENTING WITH YOUR EX AND MAKING JOINT CUSTODY WORK

Co-parenting amicably with your ex can give your children stability and close relationships with both parents–but it's rarely easy. Putting aside relationship issues to co-parent agreeably can be fraught with stress. Despite the many challenges, though, it is possible to develop a cordial working relationship with your ex for the sake of your children. With these tips, you can remain calm, stay consistent, and avoid or resolve conflict with your ex and make joint custody work.

To continue viewing this article from helpguide.org, click the link below:
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/coparenting_shared_parenting_divorce.htm

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/

DIVORCE THINK FINANCIALLY, NOT EMOTIONALLY

Divorce is an extremely turbulent, stressful and emotional process ... and one during which parties must make many important financial decisions that will, for better or worse, impact the rest of their lives, including the division of assets and debt, the marital home, tax liabilities, alimony, etc.
 
Thinking financially is not always easy. But, it is possible, especially if you have some help.

To learn more you can purchase this book written by Jeffrey A. Landers, CDFA, at: http://www.amazon.com/Divorce-Financially-Emotionally-Securing-Financial/dp/1937458490/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1348491210&sr=8-1&keywords+divorce+think+financially
 
For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/