DATING AFTER DIVORCE -- TIPS FOR SUCCESSFUL ONLINE DATING

1. Guard Your Personal Information – Guarding your personal, sensitive information should be absolutely first and foremost on your agenda when it comes to online dating. Most internet dating sites are filled with "normal" people who are honestly looking for someone else – whether for casual dating or for a serious relationship that leads to marriage. However, there's another set of people you should be concerned with who are in it for all of the wrong reasons and who's intentions are anything but serious.

2. Create a Free Email Address – There are plenty of free email services to choose from so make an email address that's exclusively for use for your adventures in online dating, at least until you've met someone you know you can completely trust. You don't want messages from a jilted "e-date" to be clogging up your work inbox!

3. Choose a Reputable Service – There's certainly no shortage of websites and services devoted to bringing people together romantically, so before you can start looking at other people's profiles, you've got to choose a dating site that meets your needs. When you visit the various dating sites, be sure to thoroughly read their FAQ or Help pages before signing up for anything, and make certain you understand the membership fees, if any, as well as what their refund policies are.

4. Take Your Time – Time is of absolutely no concern in cyberspace. Don't get so excited about meeting a potential profile match that you rush out and put a down payment on a house for the two of you. Take plenty of time to get to know someone before getting serious, or before taking the next steps forward toward a physical relationship.

5. Ask for Photos – Besides the obvious aspect of whether or not you're physically attracted to someone, asking for a few photos also helps to gauge whether or not a person is being honest and seriously looking for a relationship of some sort – or if they're someone merely prowling the internet for reasons that are usually best left unsaid. You'll also want to make sure you're getting pictures that are relatively recent and that you're using recent ones in your own profile as well.

6. Using the Phone – After meeting someone online and chatting for a while, the next step is to exchange telephone numbers and see if the sparks are still flying through the phone's wires. Talking on the telephone is a great way to learn about a person so be sure to make phone "meetings" a part of your online dating agenda before taking the relationship any further.

7. Follow Your Gut Instincts – Most people have an inbred sense of instinct, but whether or not we actually listen to that inner voice and heed its wise warnings is a completely different story. If something just doesn't seem quite right to you, then chances are, it probably isn't. Don't make the mistake of second guessing yourself. Instead, learn to rely upon your natural instincts and listen when they're trying to tell you something.

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/ --

I HAVE FOUND MY OWN PLACE -- NOW WHAT?

Once you have chosen your apartment and are ready to meet with the leasing representative at the community, the following information will be needed to expedite the approval process:

• Driver's license for U.S. citizens, passport for non-citizens.
• Financial information, such as checking and savings account information.
• Check, money order, or cashier's check for the deposit.
• Proof of income or ability to pay rent. If you're employed, bring a recent pay stub or tax return. If other financial assistance will be provided, you must show proof of income/ability to pay, such as a pay stub or tax return, and a passport or U.S. Social Security number.
• If you have a support order often times the landlord will want to see your order to substantiate the monthly support you be receiving.

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/ --

CUSTODY

Custody refers to who has legal decision-making authority in the life of a child. The decision-making authority is usually in regard to major life issues such as religion, education, health and activities.
Typically in two-parent, intact families, parents share decision-making authority. The decision making process between co-habiting parents may reflect mutual input and a consensus model or a distribution of responsibilities where one parent takes a primary role with respect to making decisions and the other parent, generally in agreement and trusting with the decisions, takes a secondary role.


For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/ --

DIVORCE CONSIDERATIONS ON RETIREMENT AND SOCIAL SECURITY

Pensions are joint assets, and can be divided in a divorce settlement. Your lawyer will need to prepare a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) before your divorce is finalized.

If your marriage lasted for at least 10 years, you are eligible to collect on your ex's spousal portion of their social security pension, provided that you don't qualify to collect based on your own earning. If you qualify, you can collect once your ex-husband turns 62 (whether or not he retires), and the divorce has been finalized for over two years.

Unmarried children under 18 are entitled to survivor benefits if your ex-husband dies.

If you were married for at least 10 years, you qualify for the same survivor benefits as a widow

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/ --

INITIATING THE DIVORCE

In California, the person filing for divorce or a legal separation does so by filing and serving a Summons and Petition for Divorce or Legal Separation. The Petition has two parts. The first section of the Petition sets out basic details such as the identities and residential addresses of each party, the date and place of marriage, the names and dates of birth of any children of the marriage, the matrimonial assets and so on. The second section of the Petition sets out the orders or relief being sought by the person filing the document (eg. sole custody).

In some instances, a party may also need to seek urgent orders (eg. where you are very concerned that the other spouse is or will dispose of matrimonial assets). Be sure to get legal advice if there are immediate matters that need to be urgently addressed whether they involve domestic violence, property or child custody. 

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/ --

BEFORE YOU DECIDE TO FILE

This is the time when you and your spouse are discussing the possibility of divorce. You may be in marriage counseling or individual therapy to save your marriage. It's also the time to start your financial planning for a possible divorce.

• Gather historical financial documents such as tax returns, banking records, real estate purchase and sale documents and any other records pertaining to your assets.
• Find a good divorce lawyer.  Efficiently utilize your time when you interview a prospective lawyer to learn about your potential risks and results if the divorce truly occurs. Start your divorce financial planning.
• Avoid stressful situations and conflict as much as you can. Plan any pre-divorce discussions with your spouse so that they occur in a neutral location. Avoid involving your children, friends and relatives in your divorce. 
• If you and your spouse can have reasonable, somewhat amicable discussions about settlement, begin pre-settlement negotiations. Start with a full disclosure of the information about your income, assets, liabilities and expenses.
• If divorce is imminent and you and your spouse can't communicate to work out your divorce settlement or if one of you is more in control and more powerful than the other, move on to the next step. Don't waste time and energy on trying to work out an agreement until you are both on a level playing field.

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/ --

THE COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE

Collaborative Divorce is a process in which both spouses hire a lawyer specifically trained in collaborative family law: both lawyers work together with both spouses in confidential, four-way meetings in order to come up with mutually beneficial resolutions to their divorce issues. It's a cooperative, rather than competitive, method of settling marriage dissolution -- based on full disclosure and empathy rather than on trying to "win" with antagonistic deceit and mistrust.

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/ --