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Friday, May 22, 2015


Why not get a professional consultation, particularly when you believe you don’t need it; you know you are plenty smart; your friend is a lawyer; or divorce is too darn expensive?

Fear and procrastination are huge inhibitors to getting the information you need. Don’t wait until it looks like the handwriting is on the wall. Be pro-active even if you are not the spouse who desires to leave.

You should get a consult even if you get a tiny inkling that divorce is where it is going.  Many times your partner will confiscate all of the bank accounts, leave you without access, cut up the credit cards, take the children, take the furniture, and change the locks. You will want to withdraw enough money for your attorney’s fees and necessities of life, without drawing a concern from the court.

Some believe that they cannot possibly consult with a professional because their spouse will find out, and will go through the roof. Some folks are simply in denial. Others believe they are too clever to have to get a lawyer; they can just go on line, or get a Nolo book on Divorce. Think of all of the money they can save! Not so!

Nine times out of ten, people go into denial or stick their head in the sand. Then during this time, he or she, may create a violent situation which can be blamed upon the other, the police are called, and then you may be facing a fairytale about a “long” history of abuse and find yourself in jail because you “are the primary aggressor” or you were under the influence of alcohol. Under rare circumstances the allegations can also be, you bathed or sleep with the baby inappropriately, with intent to sexualize the child.

Your spouse may claim that you are an alcoholic and that the 12 year old is fed up with you. The twelve year old goes along with the plan because he never gets time with the other parent because of…really he or she has been part of an extremely dysfunctional family and the child is unable to see the other parent.  The child becomes very aligned with the absent parent and then it becomes those two against you. Custody can be changed under those instances.

A good lawyer will tell you about the 3.5 process options available around your jurisdiction so that you can have an insider’s view.

A chief purpose in seeing an attorney is to:

a.)Process information

                                              i.    Litigation/adversarial/collaboration

                                             ii.    Mediation

                                           iii.    Collaborative practice.

                                            iv.    What can you expect?

                                             v.    Mistakes

        b.) Cost

Depends on the process selected

The dynamics of the parties

Revenge factor

If you are considering a divorce or uncoupling consider going to a family law lawyer before you decide to make a move or tell your partner.

Get a one half hour free consultation so that you may get some of your major concerns alleviated.

Most people walk out after a consultation feeling relieved, and have the ability to quit thinking and know they are actually safe or going to be all right. They can be re-assured that they are not going to lose the children.

Collaborative lawyers will explain process options of 3 approaches (processes).

They can assist you in making decisions taking into considering the entire family, including children.

They can give good advice about how to look good and behave while in the court room, with respect to social media. Negotiating with a soon to be ex-spouse can be quite difficult or challenging if you choose the wrong process option.

Avoid attorneys who talk excessively or tell antidotal stories about their own lives or another divorce case. Seek out a good interactive listener. Time per hour is ramped up with no way to curtail it.

Do independent research of attorneys on attorneys in your county.  Avoid the ones with (a) a ton of yelp reviews, all 5 stars, and (b) offers services well below the standard price. That is typically a younger attorney with lots of social media friends, who got a Yelp review in return.

Get a free consultation; look around to see who meets you comfort level.

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/ --

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