CO-PARENTING AN ADOPTED CHILD

As if divorce isn't hard enough, it can be even more complicated when you are trying to work out custody of an adopted child. Adoption often makes the situation emotionally more difficult for the child, and may make you concerned about what your rights are.

 

Legal Rights

If you and your spouse adopted your child together, or if one of you did a step-parent adoption, you may be wondering how the adoption impacts custody. Technically, it doesn't. If you are both legal parents, you both have equal rights in the eyes of the court. If one of you is also a biological parent though, there's a good chance the court will take that fact into consideration when making a decision. It's unlikely a court would award custody to a step-dad who recently adopted the child over her bio mom, however it is possible because the decision is always made based on what is in the best interests of the child. If the bio mom is shown to be a poor parent, custody could certainly be given to the adoptive father.

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CHILDREN AND DIVORCE

Children are the innocent victims of divorce. They become the center of battles over child custody, support, and visitation. Worst of all, the lines are drawn between the two people they love the most - Mom and Dad.
Divorce affects a child in ways that parents don't always consider. They face losing the only lifestyle that they've ever known. In it’s place are week-end visits with Dad, living with a stressed out Mom, and having reduced resources for everything they used to do. You can't change this fact, but you can give your children unconditional love and support to help ease their adjustments.

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PARENTING

Children are more capable of adapting to parental separation if their parents function effectively. Each parent will develop his or her own style of parenting, and each parent should be tolerant of the other’s parenting style with respect to that parent’s ability to make day-to-day decisions when the children are with him or her.

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BEST WAY TO TELL YOUR KIDS ABOUT DIVORCE

You may have decided to call your marriage quits, but is your child ready for it? Are you ready to tell your child about the legal separation? Of course not! The thought of telling your child about the divorce is definitely unnerving one. It can make you anxious and tongue-tied, but telling your child the news as soon as possible is also important. The worst part about breaking this news is, informing your children about their future home and the single parent who will be looking after them. So, when everything around you is so stressful, what is the best way to tell your kids about divorce? Children often blame themselves for parents parting ways. It takes them a while to come to terms with the fact of living with only one parent. However, if the process of divorce is conveyed to kids by you and your spouse, before the divorce it will help in salvaging your bond with your kids.

 

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For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/ --

25 TIPS FOR PARENTS WHOSE CHILDREN ARE GETTING A DIVORCE

Here are some do's, don'ts, and tips to help you handle things when your son or your daughter says, "Mom and Dad, I'm getting a divorce."

1. Don't become personally involved in your child's divorce.
2. Don't ask your friend, the lawyer, to represent your son or daughter.
3. Don't go to meetings between your son or your daughter and his or her lawyer.
4. Don't let your son's or daughter's divorce affect your relationship with your other children.
5. Don't interfere with your son-in-law's or daughter-in-law's visitation rights with your grandchildren.

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HOW TO NOT TALK TO AN EX

Renee Marcelle is highly skilled in assisting parties with mediating their dissolutions. She has completed over 40 hours in mediation training and 16 hours in advanced mediation training.

How does divorce mediation work when you don’t even want to be in the same room as your soon-to-be ex-spouse? Mediators have specific skill sets to get people to communicate who can’t stand each other so they can make important life-altering decisions. A mediator can take some of the drama out of the divorce, keep you focused on the issues at hand and allow you to move forward. You may never have to be in the same room again with your ex-spouse, if you so desire. Tolerating a little bit of face-to-face negotiations during mediation can go a long way towards not contending with him/her for the rest of your life. Agreements made during mediation tend to be followed and couples tend to not return to court to amend any agreements. So, deal with him/her now and you won’t have to face him/her down the road again.

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HOW TO DEAL WITH SADNESS AND LONELINESS AFTER DIVORCE

Divorce is traumatic, and the broken relationship signals the loss of all your commitments and promises you had made together for your future. You may or may not have wanted it to happen, but the chain of agonizing events it triggers can be hard to deal with. When you got married, you always thought you would spend the rest of your lives together. Never once did you believe that the union would end in a bitter breakup. But life doesn't always turn out to be a bed of roses. Divorce can be all the more painful when children are involved, for them the absence of a parent from their lives can be very hard. A negative outcome of divorce can be insecurity and the inability to put your faith in the persons you love. This means harboring a twinge of resentment in your heart, and keeps you from opening up to the people who want to help you out in your time of need. This will only plunge you deeper into depression and not help you in getting on with life.

 

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