NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS FOR DIVORCED PARENTS

Dear Kids, Because we both love you, these are our New Year's Resolutions for divorced parents:  We won't forget the profoundly unfair truth that this divorce -- which you didn't choose, don't deserve and have no power to stop -- has hit you hardest of all. You're the ones who have to schlep back and forth between homes, and you have the right to express outrage -- free from worry that we'll become hurt, defensive or angry.

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CHILD CUSTODY

During dissolution, the highest emotional impact of the spouses often surrounds child custody. The Best Interest of The Child, is the standard that the court will use to determine where the child will be placed. The court uses this standard to decide who the primary care giver will be. Often times Custody is shared equally.

To continue viewing information about custody please visit Renee Marcelle's website: http://familylawmarin.com/Custody.html

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444.

PREPARING FOR A DIVORCE

By preparing for a divorce before it actually happens, you can reduce much of the stress and conflict that many people face when they rush the divorce process. Planning ahead allows you to make sound decisions and start preparing for your life after divorce, as well as helping you to avoid some of the post-divorce pitfalls. 

To continue reading this article from WomansDivorce.com, please click: http://www.womansdivorce.com/preparing-for-a-divorce.html#ixzz2p5VFxoCf
For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/

CHILDREN AND DIVORCE

For children, divorce can be stressful, sad, and confusing. At any age, kids may feel uncertain or angry at the prospect of mom and dad splitting up. As a parent, you can make the process and its effects less painful for your children. Helping your kids cope with divorce means providing stability in your home and attending to your children's needs with a reassuring, positive attitude. It won't be a seamless process, but these tips can help your children cope.

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FOCUS ON YOUR HEALING

I can’t think of a more empowering thing to do than to focus on your own healing. Give yourself permission to take care of yourself. If you have children living with you and they are young do what you can to make life easy on yourself for a little while. Prepare easy meals or go out to dinner.

Maybe have a friend or relative come over and watch the kids for an evening. Make use of after school programs. Do what is necessary to aid in your healing

To continue viewing this article by Penny Haider, click:  http://www.divorcemag.com/articles/Relationships/stay_away_and_focus.html

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/

IS DIVORCE BAD FOR CHILDREN?

Many of the 1.5 million children in the U.S. whose parents divorce every year feel as if their worlds are falling apart. Divorcing parents are usually very concerned about the welfare of their children during this troublesome process. Some parents are so worried that they remain in unhappy marriages, believing it will protect their offspring from the trauma of divorce.

To continue viewing this article by: Hal Arkowitz and Scott O. Lilienfeld please click: http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=is-divorce-bad-for-children

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/

WHAT IS COLLABORATIVE LAW?

Collaborative divorce law can be defined as a family law process wherein the two parties agree to avoid court proceedings and avoid any threats of litigation. The parties attempt to reach a fair settlement by way of a series of meetings, including each party and their lawyer.

To read more about Collaborative law and Renee M. Marcelle please visit:
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For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/

HEALTHY DIVORCE - HOW TO MAKE YOUR SPLIT AS SMOOTH AS POSSIBLE

The end of a marriage typically unleashes a flood of emotions including anger, grief, anxiety and fear. Sometimes these feelings can rise up when you least expect them, catching you off guard. Such a response is normal, and over time the intensity of these feelings will subside. In the meantime, be kind to yourself. Researchers have found that people who are kind and compassionate to themselves have an easier time managing the day-to-day difficulties of divorce.

To continue viewing this article from the American Psychological Association please click:  http://apa.org/helpcenter/healthy-divorce.aspx

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ARE YOU ADDICTED TO AN UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP?

Some people want out of destructive relationships but end up staying. On one hand they want out, on the other hand, there is a stronger pull to continue on as before. In other words, the relationship is addictive.

I knew for the last ten years of my nineteen year marriage I would be better off if I left. I knew it was an unhealthy relationship but was completely overwhelmed if I even entertained the idea of leaving. I thought I was imagining that life was miserable and that I wasn’t trying hard enough. I felt leaving the marriage was admitting I was a failure as a wife and mother. It became a tug of war between what I thought I should do and what I knew deep down I had to do

To continue reading this article by Penny L. Haider click below:
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CO-PARENTING AN ADOPTED CHILD

As if divorce isn't hard enough, it can be even more complicated when you are trying to work out custody of an adopted child. Adoption often makes the situation emotionally more difficult for the child, and may make you concerned about what your rights are.

 

Legal Rights

If you and your spouse adopted your child together, or if one of you did a step-parent adoption, you may be wondering how the adoption impacts custody. Technically, it doesn't. If you are both legal parents, you both have equal rights in the eyes of the court. If one of you is also a biological parent though, there's a good chance the court will take that fact into consideration when making a decision. It's unlikely a court would award custody to a step-dad who recently adopted the child over her bio mom, however it is possible because the decision is always made based on what is in the best interests of the child. If the bio mom is shown to be a poor parent, custody could certainly be given to the adoptive father.

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CHILDREN AND DIVORCE

Children are the innocent victims of divorce. They become the center of battles over child custody, support, and visitation. Worst of all, the lines are drawn between the two people they love the most - Mom and Dad.
Divorce affects a child in ways that parents don't always consider. They face losing the only lifestyle that they've ever known. In it’s place are week-end visits with Dad, living with a stressed out Mom, and having reduced resources for everything they used to do. You can't change this fact, but you can give your children unconditional love and support to help ease their adjustments.

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PARENTING

Children are more capable of adapting to parental separation if their parents function effectively. Each parent will develop his or her own style of parenting, and each parent should be tolerant of the other’s parenting style with respect to that parent’s ability to make day-to-day decisions when the children are with him or her.

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BEST WAY TO TELL YOUR KIDS ABOUT DIVORCE

You may have decided to call your marriage quits, but is your child ready for it? Are you ready to tell your child about the legal separation? Of course not! The thought of telling your child about the divorce is definitely unnerving one. It can make you anxious and tongue-tied, but telling your child the news as soon as possible is also important. The worst part about breaking this news is, informing your children about their future home and the single parent who will be looking after them. So, when everything around you is so stressful, what is the best way to tell your kids about divorce? Children often blame themselves for parents parting ways. It takes them a while to come to terms with the fact of living with only one parent. However, if the process of divorce is conveyed to kids by you and your spouse, before the divorce it will help in salvaging your bond with your kids.

 

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25 TIPS FOR PARENTS WHOSE CHILDREN ARE GETTING A DIVORCE

Here are some do's, don'ts, and tips to help you handle things when your son or your daughter says, "Mom and Dad, I'm getting a divorce."

1. Don't become personally involved in your child's divorce.
2. Don't ask your friend, the lawyer, to represent your son or daughter.
3. Don't go to meetings between your son or your daughter and his or her lawyer.
4. Don't let your son's or daughter's divorce affect your relationship with your other children.
5. Don't interfere with your son-in-law's or daughter-in-law's visitation rights with your grandchildren.

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HOW TO NOT TALK TO AN EX

Renee Marcelle is highly skilled in assisting parties with mediating their dissolutions. She has completed over 40 hours in mediation training and 16 hours in advanced mediation training.

How does divorce mediation work when you don’t even want to be in the same room as your soon-to-be ex-spouse? Mediators have specific skill sets to get people to communicate who can’t stand each other so they can make important life-altering decisions. A mediator can take some of the drama out of the divorce, keep you focused on the issues at hand and allow you to move forward. You may never have to be in the same room again with your ex-spouse, if you so desire. Tolerating a little bit of face-to-face negotiations during mediation can go a long way towards not contending with him/her for the rest of your life. Agreements made during mediation tend to be followed and couples tend to not return to court to amend any agreements. So, deal with him/her now and you won’t have to face him/her down the road again.

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HOW TO DEAL WITH SADNESS AND LONELINESS AFTER DIVORCE

Divorce is traumatic, and the broken relationship signals the loss of all your commitments and promises you had made together for your future. You may or may not have wanted it to happen, but the chain of agonizing events it triggers can be hard to deal with. When you got married, you always thought you would spend the rest of your lives together. Never once did you believe that the union would end in a bitter breakup. But life doesn't always turn out to be a bed of roses. Divorce can be all the more painful when children are involved, for them the absence of a parent from their lives can be very hard. A negative outcome of divorce can be insecurity and the inability to put your faith in the persons you love. This means harboring a twinge of resentment in your heart, and keeps you from opening up to the people who want to help you out in your time of need. This will only plunge you deeper into depression and not help you in getting on with life.

 

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HOW TO COPE WITH DIVORCE

As much as we all hope for a carefree life, there are going to be events that change life forever. Nothing stays the same, change is inevitable; but sometimes the change is unexpected and unpleasant. It might be just a move to another town or country; it might be a divorce, or death of a spouse or child. How can we cope with this type of change and organize a whole new way of life?

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SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO?

When love does not endure, the inevitable question arises: Is it time to break up? In the United States the divorce rate tells us that about 50% of all married couples at some point do untie the knot. But as anyone who’s ever done it knows, breaking up really is hard to do, which is why so many people lie, cheat, and suffer to avoid it. The Normal Bar confirms this, showing that a quarter of partners are anywhere from unhappy to extremely unhappy in their relationships, yet they continue year after year, telling themselves, “This is as good as I’m going to get,” or “This is just the way it is.” These people may be unhappier than they need to be, since even a devitalized or disappointing relationship can be made better—a lot better.

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THE 5 WORST MISTAKES WE MAKE DURING A DIVORCE

Divorce can be one of the most stressful events in life, second only to a spouse dying. In fact, a divorce can become such a complicated and nasty affair that many people have joked that a spouse dying is a less stressful event because at least you don't have to fight the deceased in court!

The point to be made here is that during this time of stress and duress we are no longer thinking with our brains, but instead with our hearts. Normally a pure heart will win the day, but a heart which is ruled by the pain, sadness and anger of a divorce will exhibit pure emotion -- often in an illogical and dangerous fashion.

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HOW TO TELL YOUR CHILDREN ABOUT DIVORCE

Divorce is an emotionally draining situation. The worst nightmare comes true when you have to inform your kids about the legal separation. The best way to tell your kids about divorce is to be honest with them, because rest assured, they are already aware about the underlying tension between their parents...

You may have decided to call your marriage quits, but is your child ready for it? Are you ready to tell your child about the legal separation? Of course not! The thought of telling your child about the divorce is definitely unnerving one. It can make you anxious and tongue-tied, but telling your child the news as soon as possible is also important. The worst part about breaking this news is, informing your children about their future home and the single parent who will be looking after them.

To continue viewing this article by Mukta Gaikwad please click the link provided below:

Read more at Buzzle: http://www.buzzle.com/articles/best-way-to-tell-your-kids-about-divorce.html

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/ --

CHEATING AND INFIDELITY: WHAT TO LOOK FOR, WHAT TO DO

Suspicion of infidelity is a horrible thing.

It can cause insecurity, anxiety, fear, sleeplessness, depression, and can occupy your thoughts and mind all hours of the day and night. You begin to speculate: What did I do to drive him/her them away? Did I love him/her them enough? Did I smother him/her? Will I ever trust him/her again? Will our relationship ever be the same? What does the other person have that I don't? After a while your health can suffer and your performance at work can suffer.

And then it starts to affect others. Your children can become aware that something is wrong with Mommy and Daddy, and they too can feel insecurity, anxiety, fear, sleeplessness, and they too will begin to speculate.

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CO-PARENTING AFTER DIVORCE

Co-parenting starts the day the decision is made to divorce has been made. Even the most amicable divorces need a plan for future co-parenting. Putting your children's best interests first, no matter how much you may dislike their other parent, is the key to co-parenting.

The first thing you must do is decide if you and your spouse are able to talk about co-parenting after the divorce. If you feel you can, that is great. The strongest agreements will come from the two of you. However, if you cannot talk about co-parenting, don't!! Let professionals such a mediators and therapists, assist both of you with co-parenting discussions. This is too important an issue to not be done the right way.

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COLLABORATIVE LAW

Renee Marcelle has also received extensive training in the area of Collaborative law.  She is a member of the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals, as well as Integrative Mediation Marin.  She attends regular Collaborative law training events in addition to monthly meetings. 

Collaborative divorce law can be defined as a family law process wherein the two parties agree to avoid court proceedings and avoid any threats of litigation. The parties attempt to reach a fair settlement by way of a series of meetings, including each party and their lawyer.
Early participation by attorneys allows the participants and their attorneys to use the more positive and effective aspects of good lawyering not often seen in proceedings involving litigation, court intervention and even mediation, such as:

• Critical and rational analysis,
• Creative and thoughtful problem solving,
  
• Generating multiple options for settlement,
  
• Maintaining a positive and cooperative environment for settlement, and
  
• Building a foundation for co-parenting, financial security and positive future interactions.

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/ --

FAMILY LAW MEDIATION

There are many reasons to consider mediation when encountered with a divorce situation. Compared to traditional litigation, Mediation is fast, confidential, fair, and more cost effective. In contrast, lawsuits can sometimes take many months, or even years, to resolve which tends to be extremely stressful and emotionally draining. The number of mediation sessions varies depending on each individual case, but the main goal of these sessions is to create a parenting plan that serves in the best interest of the children. If no agreement is reached over the course of the mediation process, and it appears that further sessions will not be productive, the case is likely to be referred back to the court for a hearing wherein the judge makes a decision regarding the most appropriate parenting plan.

The common goals of family law mediation include:

1. Assisting parties in maintaining a smooth transition throughout the marital separation process,
2. Assisting clients in overcoming the emotional and legal obstacles they may encounter during divorce, including those involving child custody, visitation, division of assets, support payments, relocation and devising an appropriate parenting plan,
3. Improving the family structure and dynamics through appropriate communication, and
4. Serving as a neutral third-party between the parties and the legal system by preparing and filing all necessary judicial paperwork.

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/ --

THE BENEFITS OF UNDERGOING DIVORCE MEDIATION

Renee Marcelle is highly skilled in assisting parties with mediating their dissolutions.  She has completed over 40 hours in mediation training and 16 hours in advanced mediation training. 

No married couple dreams of ending their marriage in divorce. Yet, it is believed that 40%-50% of first marriages in the United States end divorce. It is also estimated that majority of divorce petitioners are women. The most common reasons while women file for divorce are infidelity, incompatibility, personality problems, physical abuse, and lack of communication. Divorce is a stressful process. Not to mention its effect on the lives of children.

Divorce provokes a more regressive behavior in children. It also induces the feeling of insecurity, anxiousness, and aggressiveness. Aside from that, children of divorced parents also suffer from low self-esteem, depression, and emotional pain. Divorce can affect the academic and social skills of children. Child custody is another part of divorce that negatively affects children.

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MINOR'S COUNSEL

Renee Marcelle completed the requirements for Court Appointed Minors Counsel per the California Rule of Court rules 5.242(c) and 5.242(f) on 3-10-09 and updates the designation with additional training on an annual basis. 

Representation of a child in custody and visitation proceedings requires knowledge of the various stages of child development; communicating with a child at various developmental stages and presenting the child's view in court; recognizing, evaluating and understanding evidence of child abuse and neglect, family violence and substance abuse, cultural and ethnic diversity, and gender-specific issues; the effects of domestic violence, child abuse and neglect on children; and the ability to work effectively with multidisciplinary experts.

 

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/ --

WHY AM I UNLUCKY IN LOVE?

There are some couples who have been married for 30 years, while other couples don't even survive the first year.  It's difficult to understand.  How do some people manage to do it.  How can a marriage survive year after year?

What role does luck play in relationships?

While working on revisions to my forthcoming book, Love We Can Be Sure Of (co-authored by my mom), I read through interviews with many women who grew up in divorced homes. Most people acknowledge that growing up in a divorced home can make relationships harder as an adult. My mom and I asked the women we spoke with what they felt they could to make sure their own relationships last. The foundation of our work has always been that even if you grew up in a divorced home, you have the ability to make healthy choices and are not doomed to repeat the mistakes witnessed in your family of origin.

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HOLIDAY VISITATION TIME

The holidays can sometimes be a difficult time of year when it comes to child custody.  Each parent wants to have their child on the actual holiday.  One party may want Christmas Eve, while the other party wants Christmas Day.  This can make it difficult for one of the parties whom has family out of town.  What do you do? 

A good rule of thumb is to firm up holiday plans each year by November 1st.  Confirm each party is in agreement of what the holidays will look like.  In the event, the two of you can't agree contact your lawyer by mid November so there is an opportunity to potentially work things out without the need for a hearing.  It's best to enter into an order so that each year the holiday schedule will already be in place.

In most instances one parent will have Christmas Eve and one parent will have Christmas Day.  Perhaps you may want to agree to an alternating schedule with one parent having both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day one year and the other parent having both the following year.  This will enable travel plans with your child to happen, etc..  On the off year you can celebrate the holiday with your child on a different day.  I don't know many children that would mind having a second Christmas. 

Written by Dawn Miller

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/ --

CHANGING A PARENTING TIME VISITATION SCHEDULE

Because children are always growing and changing, no parenting schedule will work forever. Instead, you should think of your parenting plan as something that fluctuates and changes with your child.
It's easy to feel as though your parenting time visitation schedule is set in stone - after all, a judge ordered it. However, almost all parenting plans state right in them that they can be changed upon agreement of the parties. Even if your order or judgment does not directly state this, judges WANT parents to take control of their lives and reach agreements on their own outside of court. If they didn't, the courts would be so clogged no one could access them.

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WHEN A DIVORCE MAKES A BETTER DAD

Divorce stinks. Don’t get me wrong. The excruciating pain of leaving your child on Mom’s doorstep, of missing holidays and first steps, of having to schedule visitation are nothing to sign up for unless there is no other choice. My divorce involved the kind of pain that makes you think walking in front of a train would be a piece of cake if not for your responsibilities. But buried deep within that pain is a silver lining — a motivation, an aspiration, a hands-on learning — that “normal” dads don’t get.
My son was 6 months old and my daughter was 2 when I moved into a furnished rental with shag rugs, the permanent smell of Chinese food and a commanding view, through cracked Plexiglas, of Route 95 in Providence, R.I. My time with Kerry and Seamus was limited to trips to McDonald’s and a walk across the highway to Federal Hill for pizza a couple of times a week. But even that was progress. I had been an absent dad up until that point, working nonstop. And when I wasn’t working, I was drinking and getting into trouble. I was 31 going on about 14.

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5 REASONS YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY IN DIVORCE

If you're thinking about getting a divorce, or if you are going through one, or if -- like me -- you've been divorced for some time, you might think of it as a tragic life event. Death, even.

You probably never thought this would happen. Certainly it was the last thing on your mind when you were saying yes to the dress, choosing a band, and mapping out seating charts. Your happily-ever-after came to a screeching halt in the offices of Dewey, Cheatem & Howe, and your mother is telling you she told you so. How did I get here, you're asking yourself.

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THE LASTING EFFECTS OF TALKING BAD ABOUT YOUR EX

No matter how difficult things get it is important to never pour your negative feelings toward your ex over to your children.  It is unhealthy for a child to be placed in the middle or have to hear how awful the other parent is.  Save the venting for your friends and for when the children are not present.

Talking negatively about your ex has lasting effects on your children. How do I know? I have been collecting stories from children and adult children of divorce for three years now. I am writing a book to end bitter divorce battles. My hope is if I show the lasting damage from a child's perspective, it might somehow sink in and stop the nasty behavior. This isn't psycho babble: here are four real life stories.

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8 WAYS TO PRACTICE SELF LOVE

A dissolution is one of the most stressful events a person can go through.  The stress can take a huge toll on one's well being.  It is critical during this time to pay special attention to your needs and take care of yourself.  It is important to practice self love. 

Self-love is about knowing and honoring your needs, wants and wishes. It’s about understanding your inner world, including your thoughts and feelings. It’s about being kind and compassionate with yourself. Self-love is a spirit you carry, and apply to everything in your life. It is a daily practice consisting of nourishing and joyful activities. Here are eight ideas for practicing self-love in the New Year.

To continue viewing this article by Margarita Tartakovsky please click the link below:
http://www.beliefnet.com/Inspiration/Galleries/8-Ways-to-Practice-Self-Love.aspx

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/ --

10 PARENTING RULES ALL MOMS SHOULD BREAK

Going through a divorce is tough.  Trying to juggle the kids, your job and the many life changes thrown at you at once can be difficult.  Parents can often times be too hard on themselves.  On occassion it is ok to lighten up and break a few rules.

When it comes to parenting, many of us often lament how we wish the job came with a rule book. Wouldn't it be nice if all you had to do was follow a set of rules, and you'd automatically produce nice, loving, productive members of society?

Unfortunately the gig isn't quite that simple. Sure, there are "rules" that are just understood, or passed down from generation to generation as to what "good parents" are supposed to do. But even those aren't right in every situation, and as the saying goes, "rules are meant to be broken." Here are 10 parenting rules every mom should break at some point.

To continue viewing this article on the cafe stir please click the link provided below:
http://thestir.cafemom.com/big_kid/150306/10_parenting_rules_all_moms

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/ --

DIVORCE ADVICE - 33 THINGS YOU SHOULD SAY TO A DIVORCING FRIEND

You know your friend is having marital problems, however as usual you anticipate things will work out.  They always do.  The phone rings and your friend is crying.  It seems this time things will not work out.  Their partner has said they want a divorce.

When a friend is going through divorce or a tough breakup, it's important to show your support.

But what, exactly, should you say? Is it overbearing to say "I know how you feel"? Should you come armed with Kleenex, sit back and let them do all the talking?

To continue viewing this article on the Huffington Post please click below:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/01/28/divorce-advice-33-things-_n_2568868.html

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/ --

HEALING THE WOUNDS OF DIVORCE

If you're among the one-third of Americans who have divorced, you're likely bearing deep emotional wounds.

Even if you're escaping a terrible situation, the effects of divorce can be devastating. Is there any hope for healing? Psychologist Thomas Whiteman, co-author of Starting Over (with Randy Petersen, Piñon Press, 2001) identifies six stages of divorce recovery. We've expanded the stages, adding some suggestions for moving through them. As you complete each stage, you'll be one step closer to recovery.

To continue viewing this article by Brad Lewis please click the link below:
http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/divorce_and_infidelity/divorce_and_separation/healing_the_wounds_of_divorce.aspx

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/ --

THE WAY IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE

Birds chirped outside the window in the branches of the flowering locust tree. Spring hung in the air but not in my heart. I sat in the second row of the classroom watching my oldest daughter, 5-year-old Ashley, file into the room with the other students dressed for their preschool graduation.

The ceremony began. I scarcely heard a word, however, as I watched my child and wondered how the events of the previous 18 months would affect her. Her dad had left our home when Ashley was 3, her sister, Courtney, was 1 and I was pregnant with her brother, Clint. My mind retraced the events. Afraid to face what lay ahead on my own, I had surrendered my life to Christ. I prayed, "I give You not just this situation, but I give You my whole life."

To continue viewing this article by Lynda Hunter please click below:
http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/divorce_and_infidelity/divorce_and_separation/the_way_it_wasnt_supposed_to_be.aspx

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/ --

WARNING SIGNS OF INFIDELITY

The thought of your partner being unfaithful is nearly unbearable.  Often times if one's heart tells them their partner is cheating, they likely are correct.  It is difficult to know for sure, however there are some things to watch out for that may confirm the belief that your partner is not being faithful to you.

Your partner seems to lose interest in you and lacks affection

You notice your partner has become lazy around the house

Work habits suddenly change (longer hours, unexplained trips)

Becomes overly conscious of his appearance

Unusual charges found on credit-card statements

Unfamiliar calls of a long duration on cell bill

Spends an unusual amount of time on the Internet (especially while you are sleeping)

Starts using a new e-mail account

Begins deleting web-browsing history

Mileage on car is higher than it should be

Your partner frequently inquires about your schedule

Carrying more cash around than usual

Buys Viagra, Levitra, or Cialis

You receive a sexually transmitted disease

These are some of the suspicious trademarks of an affair. The most reliable indicator that your partner may be cheating is by paying attention to your intuition. If you believe your partner is cheating you are probably correct.

Written by Divorce Magazine.com

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/ --

AVOID IMPULSIVE THOUGHTS TO MAKE CONTACT

Ending a relationship is difficult in itself.  However, having to end a destructive relationship is even more difficult.  Sometimes there are no last words or goodbyes.  A restraining order can prevent the two of you from speaking.  It is necessary to remember to stay in the moment when moments of weakness arise and you wish to contact the other party.

Even though you have committed to staying away from this person there will be times when you want to break your commitment. You may get the urge to make contact because you felt a twinge of sorrow or loneliness or lost interest in an activity. Maybe you have a flashback of a pleasant memory; or something you or someone else did or said, reminds you of your ex-partner. Think about whatever idea comes to mind for a couple of minutes then let it go. Continue with what you’re doing in the present.

To continue viewing this article by Penny L. Haider please click below:
http://www.divorcemag.com/articles/Relationships/avoid_impulsive.html

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/ --

VICTIMHOOD - THE CURSE OF DIVORCE RECOVERY

Feeling or labeling yourself a victim of your divorce is one of the most disastrous moves you can make. It will prevent you from moving forward into a new life. Victimhood renders you powerless. To create a new life after your divorce takes a person who is fully responsible for their past, present and future. Being responsible means having control over one’s life and that is what it takes to both recover from the emotional wounds of a divorce as well as plan for your new life.

If you consider yourself a victim then you believe that you had little to do with what happened to you. You take no responsibility. The responsibility is someone else’s and that leaves you with no power. Victims blame someone else. Blame absolves them of their part in the dissolution of their marriage. Blame keeps them stuck in the pain of the past and their divorce. 
To continue viewing this article written by Shelley Stile, please click the link below:
http://www.divorce-articles.com/recovery.shtml

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DIVORCE RECOVERY - 7 TIPS FOR HOW TO MAKE A SMOOTH RECOVERY FROM DIVORCE

Recovery from divorce is hard. The good news is YOU CAN DO IT. In fact, with some focused effort and a little help, you can recover from divorce faster than you ever thought possible.
Making a successful recovery from divorce requires both insight and action. The following tips highlight the most important insights and actions necessary.

TIP #1 - YOU'RE NOT UNUSUAL - YOU ARE NOT ALONE
Statistically, there are a lot of us. 40% of first marriages and 60% of all remarriages eventually end in divorce. Emotionally, everyone is pretty much in the same boat. Ambivalence rules the day. Roller coasters are the preferred method of emotional transport. Realistically, anyone you know whose has gone through, or is going through a divorce, can identify with the reactions you are having. You are not alone.

To continue viewing this article written by Jerald Young, Ph.D., please click the link below:
http://ezinearticles.com/?Divorce-Recovery---7-Tips-For-How-to-Make-a-Smooth-Recovery-From-Divorce&id=571337

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/ --

FORGIVENESS AFTER DIVORCE

All situations are different, however in most cases one of the parties to a dissolution is very angry with the other.  Harboring the anger puts the saddened partner on constant edge.  The anger then can carry through to your day to day activities and negatively effect your interaction with your children, colleagues and friends. 

It’s essential that you forgive your ex-spouse. Why? Because as long as you hold the grudge, it holds you back. When you hold a grudge against someone, when you refuse to forgive him or her, you have this invisible connection with him or her. It continues to give them power over you.
To continue viewing this article by Len Stauffenger please click below:
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DATING AND THE CHILDREN

When you are newly single it may take some time, however eventually you will wade through the pain and want to get out and spend time with other adults and/or begin dating again.

Many newly divorced have a quandary about dating and the children. It seems that some become super mama(or Disney land Daddy) and "the children" become "everything" in their lives.

They will tell you the reason they haven't been getting out is on account of "the children." This "sacrifice" is no benefit to the mother or the children's welfare, either one. Others have such a dire need to be with other adults that their children become low on the priority totem pole.Particularly when they are in what is known as the "running" stage. Fortunately this stage only lasts a short time.

To continue viewing this article by Harlan Jacobsen please click the link below:http://www.divorcerecovery101.com/kids_part3.html
For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/ --

SINGLE PARENT ADVICE - SLOW COOKING FOR EASY NUTRITIOUS DINNER

When it comes to single parenting and healthy inexpensive meals, there is but one mantra: “The crock-pot is my friend, the crock-pot is my friend…” With a long day at work behind you and helping-with-homework ahead, single parents need an inexpensive no-brainer meal for supper—preferably one that has magically cooked itself and is ready to serve when you enter your home.

Healthy Slow Cooked Meals for Single Parent Families
If you’ve made it through breakfast and lunchbox preparations, slain dragons at work, yet still have homework to face; preparing a nutritious supper quickly and inexpensively begins to sound like a tall order—if not an impossibility. Enter the crock pot.
If you don’t own a slow cooker, buy a nice large one immediately. If you do own a slow cooker, pull it out of hiding and dust it off—then consider buying one or two more!

To continue viewing this article written by Maria Blanco please click the link below:
Single Parenting Advice – Slow Cooking for Easy Nutritious Dinner | Suite101 http://suite101.com/article/single-parenting-advice--slow-cooking-for-easy-nutritious-dinner-a392498#ixzz2IwajYln3
For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/ --

FOUR TIPS FOR STEP MOMS TO KEEP THE PEACE WITH THE EX WIFE

It's a given that once the divorce is final or maybe even prior to, one of you will end up in a new relationship.  Soon after the divorce is complete one of you may even marry.  Often times the new partner has children as well.  This can prove tricky when trying to parent with both your new partner and their former partner. 

There are so many complications with blended families. In many families, one complication is the intense dislike that seems to exist right from the start between mom and step mom. There are a multitude of reasons behind this dislike, but some of them can be avoided.

As an ex-wife and mom of two, there are a few insights I can provide to a new wife that will help her out a bit.  You're his wife, not my friend.  It's pretty common for a new wife to feel like she should be friends with her husband's ex-wife, typically because she thinks it will make things better for her husband or for the children involved. The truth is, most ex-wives aren't really interested in being friends with you.

To continue viewing this article by Wendy Miller please click the link below:

4 Tips for Step Moms to Keep the Peace with the Ex-wife | Suite101 http://suite101.com/article/4-tips-for-step-moms-to-keep-the-peace-with-the-ex-wife-a405228#ixzz2IwXMa4MT
For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/ --

PET CUSTODY ISSUES

The Law Office of Renee Marcelle has successfully assisted clients in resolving their disputes over pets in connection with their dissolution.  In some instances the pet has been awarded to a particular party and in other instances the parties shall custody of the pet, which each party having visitation.

Custody of children is a hotly contested issue in many divorces, but many divorces also involve a heated debate about the custody of small furry children as well. Pets are like children to many people and the thought of no longer living with or seeing a beloved dog or cat (or other animal) can be very upsetting.

To continue viewing this article by Brette Sember please click the link below:
 http://www.womansdivorce.com/pet-custody.html

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/ --

ARE YOUR ASSETS AVAILABLE TO COMPENSATE VICTIMS OF TORTS CAUSED BY YOUR SPOUSE?

Your husband is found at fault for rear-ending a soccer mom on his way to rob a bank for the purpose of donating money to his favorite crime fighting charity - after which he intended to buy groceries - causing her significant injuries. Your husband acknowledged he was at fault, voluntarily explained his intentions, and pursuant to a settlement agreed to pay her tens of thousands of dollars. Months before the accident your husband inherited a quarter million dollars from his mother, more than enough to satisfy his obligation to the soccer mom (not to mention the charity). He, however, wants to use the funds sitting in your joint account, which contains both of your marital earnings. Can he?  

The answer depends on whether he is found to have been performing an activity to benefit the community when he caused the accident. If he was, then his tort liability must be satisfied first from your community property (your joint account), and then, to the extent the community assets are insufficient, his separate property (his inheritance). The order of satisfaction is reversed if he was not found to have been performing an activity to benefit the community: his separate property would be targeted first, and then the community estate to the extent his separate property was insufficient, which in this case it would not be.

Whether someone was performing an activity for the benefit of the community is determined on a case by case basis, but ordinarily intentional or criminal misconduct (such as attempting to rob a bank) and gross negligence is not considered an activity that benefits the community. Here, despite the fact that your husband was thoughtful enough to make a trip to the supermarket (to buy groceries to benefit the community), he first intended to commit a felony, which of course would not benefit the community. Fortunately for you, this means your assets are protected.

Written by:  Manpreet Bains, Esq.

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/ --

TELLING YOUR KIDS ABOUT THE DIVORCE - TIPS FOR A NECESSARY CONVERSATION

Parents who are in a separation or divorce process often feel understandable feelings of overwhelm and trepidation about telling their children what is happening. Still, children greatly benefit when they receive accurate and clear information; without facts, they may answer their own questions and fill the void with inaccuracies and assumptions.

Each family’s conversation will be unique and individual. However, there are some general tips that will apply to all families preparing for this dialogue. Here are some of them:

1. Plan the conversation in advance and decide which parent will say what in the conversation.

2. Have the conversation together so both parents are presenting the same information and children do not feel caught in the middle.

To continue viewing this article by Sue Soler please click the link below:
http://yourchildyourdivorce.com/wordpress/telling-your-kids-about-the-divorce-tips-for-a-necessary-conversation/

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/ --

COOPERATIVE PARENTING OR PARALLEL PARENTING

Research on families of divorce suggest that there are primarily three styles of parenting for families after a divorce: cooperative, conflicted, or disengaged. Cooperative parenting is the style used by families in which conflict is low and parents can effectively communicate about their child. If you determine that your level of conflict is low, you and the other parent will probably be able to talk about your child’s needs in a healthy way. You will probably agree on most parenting values, be relatively consistent in your parenting styles, and have few arguments about your child’s life. You will rarely put your child in the middle, and you will solve differences peacefully. Research shows that children of divorce fare best when parents can be cooperative in their parenting. If you fall in this category, you should feel good about yourselves and know that you are helping your child immensely. There are many good books on cooperative parenting designed to help parents do a more effective job.  This book focuses on those parents who are in conflict and argue a lot or need to disengage in their parenting. Even if you can sometimes parent cooperatively, you find it to be difficult and are in conflict too much of the time. Conflicted parenting is the worst for children, who are often in the middle of the conflicts. Your children will adjust to your divorce easier if you can avoid conflicted parenting. Psychological issues that lead to conflicted parenting are many, and may include:

• continuation of hostility that began during the marriage
• differing perceptions of pre-separation child-rearing roles
• differing perceptions of post-separation child-rearing roles
• differing perceptions of how to parent
• concern about the adequacy of the other parent’s parenting ability
• an unwillingness of one or both parents to accept the end of the relationship
• jealousy about a new partner in the other parent’s life
• contested child custody issues
• personality factors in one or both parents that stimulate conflict.

To continue viewing this article written by Philip M. Stahl, Ph.D. please click below:
http://www.parentingafterdivorce.com/articles/parenting.html

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/ --

HOW TO HEAL FROM INFIDELITY

It’s true. Research shows that half of all couples will experience infidelity in their relationship. Reasons for affairs are many and complicated and outside the full scope of this article. But there are many common factors that can contribute to affairs, and many ways to recover your relationship after an affair. (For poly or open couples, consider an affair to be the bringing in of a third party without mutual consent.)

What Creates Fertile Grounds for Affairs?

Just like a garden, relationships need to be nurtured and tended. All too often, the garden of our relationship is left unattended; weeds grow and plants die due to lack of water and sun (i.e., care and attention). It is all too easy, especially in child-centered families, for partners to focus on the practicalities of child care to the exclusion of their relationship.
Parents be warned: The seeds for a future affair can all too easily be sown in the early stages of starting a family. Neglecting your partner and your relationship for the sake of the children does not create a happy family. It creates emotional instability, especially if you or your partner start looking to fulfill your emotional needs outside the relationship. Make sure to devote some time to your relationship, too. Your children will be happier and more secure if they see parents who have a strong, loving bond, even if this means the kids don’t always get to come first.

To continue viewing this article written by Ondina Hatvany, MFT, please click the link below:
http://psychcentral.com/lib/2012/how-to-heal-from-infidelity/

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/ --

DON'T HANG ON TO A BAD RELATIONSHIP

Relationships don’t always work out the way we want. Sometimes relationships become so painful that somebody wants to leave. If this happens to you, and if you want the other person to stay, how you handle yourself now becomes very important. Usually we push the person further away. If you want someone to stay, you need to create an environment where the person will want to be with you. So far you haven’t done this. If you had, the person wouldn’t want to leave. Now maybe you can turn your relationship around and get back together. It’s been done before. Maybe your time together is over and nothing can be done. Maybe it’s just too late. One thing is for sure, you can’t force someone to want you. All you can do is treat the person in a way that will have him or her enjoy being with you.
The key to having someone enjoy being with you is to make sure the person feels special. You do this in two ways:

- Make sure the person feels loved, accepted and appreciated just the way he or she is.

- Give the person his or her freedom. Be willing for the person to be gone tomorrow.

The more you are willing for someone to go, the more you create an environment where he or she can enjoy being with you. This in turn increases the chances of the person wanting to stay. When you hang on to someone, you do the opposite. You create an environment where the person feels controlled and suffocated. You force the person to fight for breathing room. You push the person away. Just look at how you feel when someone tries to control you. Hanging on doesn’t make someone want to stay. Hanging on makes the person want to leave. Hanging on also destroys your aliveness and mental well-being. You become consumed by fear and upset. You get tunnel vision and you interact in a way that makes your situation worse. So, for the sake of your relationship and your sanity, let the person go. Stop hanging on.

To continue viewing this article provided by How to Divorce as Friends please click:
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For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/ --

FINDING DIVORCE SOLUTIONS THAT WORK FOR EVERYONE

The key to resolving issues without conflict is to stop being a threat to the other person. Be committed to finding solutions that are fair and that work for everyone. When someone is committed to everyone’s well-being, the adversarial process stops. How can you fight someone that’s on your side.

As a matter of physics, adversariness requires two opposing forces. When one force is removed, the adversariness disappears. It takes two people to maintain the adversarial process. It only takes one person to end it. As soon as you draw sides against someone, the adversarial process begins. So don’t draw sides. Keep your focus on finding solutions that work for everyone. When you are looking out for the other person, you become far more effective. You can discover the other person’s fears and concerns. You can look beyond what the person is asking and see what the person needs. You can discover solutions.

The real issue behind most child custody cases is the fear of losing the children. When you can insure easy access and broad visitation, the need to fight for custody usually disappears. If the issue is child support or alimony, you can usually find out what the court would award and agree to that. Sometimes a good mediator can be helpful. Whatever the issue, there is a way to resolve it. Sometimes you find the solution fast. Sometimes it takes a little longer. Just don’t quit. Sooner or later the solutions will come.

To continue viewing this article provided by How to Divorce as Friends please click below:
http://www.divorcesupport.com/divorce/Finding-Divorce-Solutions-That-Work-for-Everyone-219.html

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/ --