The key to resolving issues without conflict is to stop being a threat to the other person. Be committed to finding solutions that are fair and that work for everyone. When someone is committed to everyone’s well-being, the adversarial process stops. How can you fight someone that’s on your side.
As a matter of physics, adversariness requires two opposing forces. When one force is removed, the adversariness disappears. It takes two people to maintain the adversarial process. It only takes one person to end it. As soon as you draw sides against someone, the adversarial process begins. So don’t draw sides. Keep your focus on finding solutions that work for everyone. When you are looking out for the other person, you become far more effective. You can discover the other person’s fears and concerns. You can look beyond what the person is asking and see what the person needs. You can discover solutions.
The real issue behind most child custody cases is the fear of losing the children. When you can insure easy access and broad visitation, the need to fight for custody usually disappears. If the issue is child support or alimony, you can usually find out what the court would award and agree to that. Sometimes a good mediator can be helpful. Whatever the issue, there is a way to resolve it. Sometimes you find the solution fast. Sometimes it takes a little longer. Just don’t quit. Sooner or later the solutions will come.
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For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/