Relationships don’t always work out the way we want. Sometimes relationships become so painful that somebody wants to leave. If this happens to you, and if you want the other person to stay, how you handle yourself now becomes very important. Usually we push the person further away. If you want someone to stay, you need to create an environment where the person will want to be with you. So far you haven’t done this. If you had, the person wouldn’t want to leave. Now maybe you can turn your relationship around and get back together. It’s been done before. Maybe your time together is over and nothing can be done. Maybe it’s just too late. One thing is for sure, you can’t force someone to want you. All you can do is treat the person in a way that will have him or her enjoy being with you.
The key to having someone enjoy being with you is to make sure the person feels special. You do this in two ways:
- Make sure the person feels loved, accepted and appreciated just the way he or she is.
- Give the person his or her freedom. Be willing for the person to be gone tomorrow.
The more you are willing for someone to go, the more you create an environment where he or she can enjoy being with you. This in turn increases the chances of the person wanting to stay. When you hang on to someone, you do the opposite. You create an environment where the person feels controlled and suffocated. You force the person to fight for breathing room. You push the person away. Just look at how you feel when someone tries to control you. Hanging on doesn’t make someone want to stay. Hanging on makes the person want to leave. Hanging on also destroys your aliveness and mental well-being. You become consumed by fear and upset. You get tunnel vision and you interact in a way that makes your situation worse. So, for the sake of your relationship and your sanity, let the person go. Stop hanging on.
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